humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
The Furby Incident
This incident happened after the Furby came out. So my sister, who I consider to be my best friend, and I was little girls (we are now in our 30’s, lol) that shared a bedroom. One night, our parents had to run to the store so they told us to get in bed as we had school the next day. So kids being kids, we did not go directly to sleep. We were up laughing and talking about random things that were popular at the time (1998, oh take me back). By this time it is 9 pm and we are still wide awake. One of us decided that it was a good idea to activate the Furby that we got for Christmas. Solid plan, until the moment we hear our parents’ vehicle pulling into the driveway. My sister and I rush, as quietly yet quickly, as we could back to our beds. Meanwhile, Furby McFurberson, not the name, by the way, was still chatting like we were not about to get into trouble with our parents. We’re shushing this thing, but it just keeps talking saying that it is hungry and some other things that I can hardly remember. We hear the car doors slam and our hearts are racing in our chests. Either our parents were going to think the house was haunted since this toy was just talking to no one or they were going to punish us for not doing as they told us to do. Of course, we would have hoped for the first outcome because who wants to get punished for not being obedient, right? Now they are walking up the three stairs that lead onto the porch, they are almost here. Any other time it seems like they would take their time getting inside the house, like when you really needed them for something. The Furby is still talking. For the first time in my young life, I considered murder but would get in trouble for getting out of bed. The screen door creaks open and our parents are talking with each other. I look at my sister and she’s looking at me while this darn toy just won’t stop. At the exact moment we hear the key go into the door, the Furby announces, very loudly, that it was sleepy. Great, so shut up and go to sleep already. It goes through its “sleep” routine of snoring like an owl. Just as our parents walk into the house, the Furby, blessedly, quiets down. The dreaded beast has finally sought rest. All is still in our room except for our hearts which are mocking us by running all over the place. We did our best to quiet our breathing in case one or both of our parents decided to check in on us. Our mother did. We covered our faces to pretend that we were asleep. She stood there for a minute then she walked away. We did not move until we heard their bedroom door close behind them. Even still we gave it a few seconds just to be on the safe side. Once we came up for air, we both dissolved into giggles that had us crying. We still reference that moment as The Furby Incident. I have thought about trying to find the Furby that we had and give it to her as a gift for either her birthday or Christmas. Whenever our family gets together and reminisces about the past, we will bring this story up laughing nearly the entire time. Our reaction to either hearing about Furbies or seeing them always causes us to laugh about that night all over again.
By Analicia Monique Spivey5 years ago in Humans
THE BANANA LADY
* note: The following is a true story, with the real-life names of people involved changed. * The year was 2011. I had just gotten my license & became street legal. Though able to drive, I was still very young & nervous about being responsible for other peoples' safety in my car.
By Billy The Kid5 years ago in Humans
An Ode to the People
I love my job because it shaped who I am today. Is my answer too cliché? Yeah, I think so too. To be honest, I’m quite fed up with my job. But when you look at the big picture, I’ve quit and got re-hired twice… so that says a lot (both about me and about the workplace).
By Noémi Blom5 years ago in Humans
37 Lessons From Last Year Alone...
1984. That’s a good ye… (Takes sip of...water; spit take). "I'm old." Anyway, I guess that you're never too old for another year to teach you some new things (and what better time to set a new calendar year than on your birthdate?)
By Kent Brindley5 years ago in Humans
The Shape of Stars
I was late. Now, there is a slight chance you might think that I am usually early. No, you are wrong. I am always this late. It’s not anybody’s fault, though. It’s just, I am someone who strictly follows four meals a day, and I am not ready to lose that, just for the sake of playing football.
By Chacko Stephen5 years ago in Humans
The Pear
There is a new Blue-Ray release of the beloved Disney classic "Mary Poppins." Here is a special deleted scene. Mary Poppins and good-natured chimneysweep Burt, along with the Banks children: Jane and Michael, are taking a stroll in a colorful, whimsical garden.
By Jason Goldtrap5 years ago in Humans
The Olden Times #1
In the olden times … There was no iced coffee at the drive-thru. Coffee was served two ways: hot and damn hot. There was cream, straight from the teat, nothing non-dairy, and sugar. The only sugar alternative was Sweet and Low. Keep the "low" part in mind because at first, you got the sweet, which was the high, but then you got the bitter, which was the low.
By Mack Devlin5 years ago in Humans
The Olden Times #3
In the olden times ... There were only two kinds of food that could be delivered: pizza and Chinese food. The Chinese food places that delivered were as unreliable as the consistency of the food they delivered. One week, the Pho Han Palace would deliver, the next week they would deny ever having delivered food in the entire history of human existence. The only guarantee you got was that your Dim Sum would be delivered by a guy on a motor scooter. And that motor scooter sounded like an atomic bomb detonating in the atmosphere as it pulled up out front. The guy didn't even have to ring the doorbell. You would be alerted by his bombastic engine and the fumes he was venting.
By Mack Devlin5 years ago in Humans
