values
I Stay For My Kids
One of the biggest and most damaging lies I ever told myself was that I was staying with my children's biological father for their sake. I could twist that bullshit justification on its ear I was so good at it. And I think it’s time we talk about it.
By Shauna Marie4 years ago in Families
An Aspiring Pilot
I was taught a valuable lesson from one of my children, it helped me long term to be a better parent. Sharing such experiences is impertinent to my growth, in the likes of being better at future generational differences. I was taught that in a child’s development to teenage excursions, is owning their individual expectations of self while getting to the goals they aspire. At the age of 13, my son had begun his own business ethics. He was given a lawnmower, and expanded to mowing lawns, cultivating gardens, and pouring cement for patios, decks and building areas of support under apprenticeship. It gave me the insight, to start looking for college courses in Landscaping to support his tactics. I’ve always been supportive to my children and their goals but it was of my interests for them rather than to what they desired. While my son was excavating his Landscaping skills, I was active in researching the things I wanted him to explore. I tried to send him to a technical school specializing in Auto Mechanics, I tried to send him to a Military school, even thought that a Magnet school program will keep him focused since his academics were as he always proven to be intelligent as long as he put in the work. I tried to keep him focused , since independence in his business didn’t allow much room for me to be his parent. He didn’t need much from me at all, the only control I had was to keep a curfew and to be sure he was excelling in school. I stayed close with his guidance counselor, teachers, and authorities at school to be sure he was putting in the effort. Financially, he did everything for himself clothes, shoes and anything he felt he needed. I didn’t have much to go on as far as his associates, because he kept a small circle. Anyone outside of his Football team associates, I knew only the 3 friends he brought home in 7 years. He brought no trouble to home, yet he found trouble out in the streetz as I nickname outside of the home. My grandfather always said to me if I wasn’t home, I was in the streetz. Whether a friend’s home, a park or a relatives’, it was still considered the streetz. Where you can find obstacles to harm yourself or be outside of your normal experiences is the streetz. My lesson was that I could only support my son’s interest, and not guide him to my expectations for him. He had made it clear in his actions, he was only doing what he wanted for himself and my opinion was only a distraction. I tried hard as an active parent to be involved with his life, but I was shut out tremendously due to his privacy of keeping from me what he didn’t want me to know. Suddenly, he had left his interest in his business and insisted on a job. I had given him a resume, interviewing skills, and even made calls to look for hiring manager’s information before passing the leads to him for follow-up. We celebrated his hiring, and felt a connection during the process. I felt he finally needed me, and he was inspired by my help that he actually wanted. Moving forward from that experience, to my younger son I decided to ask him what did he want to be when he grew up. He said a Fighter Jet Pilot. I eventually moved to the State where education was taken seriously throughout the school system. I had been focused on signing him up with a Mentorship, programs that led to his goal and adding a structure that he can build on thru his efforts. I looked for a Pilot Mentor thru Instagram. Found one that had connected us to a Retired Pilot that donated flights to my son. I then found Civil Air Patrol that will assist him in getting a Pilot License by the age of 17. Also, they provide a structure of the Air Force to obtain leadership, safety, aerospace, skills and responsibilities. In addition, I had 6-hour reading scheduled for him during his school week. His reading included S.A.T, ASVB, and Aerospace. Following his aspired goals, extending his experiences, and staying focused on what he expects of this journey is what I concentrated on. Currently, as he started at 11 years of age he had 5 single-handed flights; now at the age of 14 about to attend a H.S. on a University campus that allows 60 credits towards his graduation of college. As long as he’s surrounded by peers of his inspiration, I expect great things and at his happiness not just mine. I’m a proud parent, and I learned the lesson that helped me to be on his team. To all of the parents that thinks parenting is overbearing, controlling, and demanding its not the secret to success.
By Persia Mcleod4 years ago in Families
Deadbeats Should Be Criminally Charged
As much as people are trying to force women to birth children, the government should really take steps to start charging deadbeat fathers. Hell, even deadbeat mothers. It’s exhausting the notion that as a single mother I have to wake up every single day to do this entirely on my own.
By The Darkest Sunrise4 years ago in Families
Awakening Your Dreams
Infancy is the year we build the most trust with the world around us. After being conceived in our mother's wombs, it's incredible that it takes approximately nine months to be born. Finally, we were born into what we refer to as an infant. Mommy and Daddy look at us for the first time with love. It's love at first sight.
By Irene Mielke4 years ago in Families
Being Your CODA
It started off rocky from the start. You could never hear the sounds of my cry. We would never get to speak to each other in an intimate way. You didn't hear my first words and at 3 years old, you were forced to be a single mom. Life was never easy, but you did it anyway.
By Gina R (Gibana)4 years ago in Families
Happy life, less care, more forgiveness
In life, everyone has something they care about, big or small, people or things, or some things. Memory is everyone's innate instinct. The good will be remembered, and the bad will be remembered. Therefore, many people feel unhappy because they remember too many things, and those who feel happy do not have memory, but selective memory.
By Nellie Scot4 years ago in Families
Hey mom
hey mom, I never told you this but, remember the time you sold the house and moved ? Well I do it was my senior year of high school it was my toughest year on me. I had just gotten dumped by my ex boyfriend gobani who I thought was the love of my life, I was kicked out. Finishing school without the support of my loved ones really opened my eyes. I’ve always been the middle man in our family , the one everyone can go to to express themselves and just talk and smile and to know that someone cares what you’re saying. The tables turned on me. I didn’t have someone to talk to and pour my heart out on. Just drugs and distractions. I remember back in foster care it was just me and my sisters and we were all we had. Until I found my forever family and I thought things would change. They did. But eventually for the worse. Our family broke apart and split up. My family Is my heart. We are all connected. Not a day went by that I didn’t feel the pain of our other 6 family members and our beautiful fur babies ace and krypto. From that time on I finally knew what you meant when you told me to cherish every day as a gift from god. It truly is a gift. The present is a gift you get it ?it was given for free but it’s up to you what do with it and how to use it and if you choose to give it away to another person instead of keeping it like you should have. I’ll always be okay I’m a strong young woman, always have been but I’d be lying to myself if I said I’m okay with where life is. Honestly mom , I’m hurt. I wish we fought harder for one another I miss you guys everyday and I know things will never be the same and that’s the hard part about adulting. So I’m trying my best to cherish every day like it’s my last. I don’t express my emotions a lot. Externally, I come off aloof, but internally, I am overwhelmed with emotions. Sometimes It’s like I don’t really say everything that I feel because I might start crying and might not stop honestly. What’s the point of sterling the obvious if no one will do anything to change it ? A part of me wants to just disappear and start over where no one knows me and my failures , yet the other part is begging for me to stay and fight a little longer for what I have in front of me. I am at war with principalities that struggle to control my mind and soul but I am stronger than they know , stronger than I know as a matter of fact. I thank god we were chosen as a family because I don’t know where I would be without the people that make life worth living. I do this for you guys. I’m so exhausted but I knew there would be trials and tribulations, even Jesus himself was tried by the devil. I just tell myself to remember romans 8:18 , “the pain you’re feeling doesn’t compare to the joy that’s coming”. Thank you for being the real, realistic , human , mistake-making, imperfect, loving , generous , resilient, wise , intuitive, beautiful and stubborn woman you are. I wouldn’t dream of another mom. I’m proud to be your daughter I love you to infinity.
By Sakiya coleman4 years ago in Families
I’ll See Your Pandemic and Raise You Two Broken Arms and a Mom with Dementia
I can still remember the old folks making fun of us kids at family picnics or reunions when we would start to complain about how bad we had it. A complaint about how miserable it was to ride a bus to school would be met with a response about having to walk two miles through a blinding snow storm in -10 degree wind chills just to get to school because “when we were young there was no such thing as snow days or school buses.”
By Ella Thomas4 years ago in Families
