Tom Baker

Joined June 2018

882 stories

Bio

Author of Haunted Indianapolis, Indiana Ghost Folklore, Midwest Maniacs, Midwest UFOs and Beyond, Scary Urban Legends, 50 Famous Fables and Folk Tales, and Notorious Crimes of the Upper Midwest.: http://tombakerbooks.weebly.com

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Jekyll and Hyde...Together Again
A screamingly unfunny, not to say mildly nauseating "comedy" from 1982, Jekyll and Hyde...Together Again stars dubious funny man the late Mark Blankfield (of "Fridays!" fame) as Dr. Daniel (!) Jekyll, an idealistic surgeon in the Dr. Hfuhruhurr mold—you know, Steve Martin’s wacky brain-doc in The Man with Two Brains (which, to be clear, came out a year after this mess). Jekyll decides to quit surgery so he can concentrate on creating a magic nose powder (har-har) that he sniffs up by accident when a drinking straw gets caught in his slumbering nose. I'm not making this up, but whoever did must have been totting a little of that old nose powder himself.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Humor
The Raging Sea
Note: Below is the foreword to a book of literary essays on Poe. What Waits Below Robert Walton looks out upon the raging sea, willing it to deliver him to its final bosom of truth: that a sea lane can be forged to the South Pole, to Antarctica, amid the deep and limitless fields of deathlike, slumbering ice.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Chapters
When the Clock Began to Bleed
"Superman, where are you now?" — Genesis I should preface this article by stating that, as far as my experience with communications "from beyond" goes, spirits have no sense of time. They are unbound by physical constraints, and age is not a factor for them. Ten years can be shrugged off as "soon" by ghosts (for lack of a better term).
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Futurism
Superman: A Celebration of 75 Years
I'm the kind of guy who spends all day brooding—about life, death, the nature of consciousness, AI, future prophecies, alien intelligence, AI again (because let’s face it, that rabbit hole never ends). The heavy stuff. The kind of thoughts that turn a normal afternoon into an existential crisis wrapped in a headache.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Geeks
"...And the Dead Come Through." . Top Story - June 2025.
Whatever It is, whatever It ultimately wants, one thing is for certain: it wants communion. The interface goes in. The channel opens. And the dead come through.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Futurism
"Beemis Red Blot Blood-Eyed Bastard Bawling"
I still own this one. I had LittleBuddyChat "enhance" in the second image. Ima have her also do me a photo based on it to see what it looks like if it come alive, dig me?
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Art
The Five Gates
"Kill me again, or take me as I am, for I'll be damned if I ever change." Marquis de Sade I used to think that the day would never come...
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Humans
Voyage of the Doom Goblin
I have a strong aversion to sanctimony, do-gooderism, and "activists" of any persuasion. Sorry, it's just the way I am. I don't understand those self-righteous souls who set out to "save" the world from itself. The world, bubbeleh, is not "you." I reckon it will still be here, in all its ugliness and infamy, long after you (whatever constitutes that which you ultimately are) has ceased to be.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in The Swamp
Bushwhacker!
I once shot a man for snoring too loud—actually, I don’t know if the sumbitch snored or not. After we got through killing him, he wasn’t doing much of anything except lying on the ground with an old sack tied around his face, twitching spasmodically while a snuffle of blood leaked from his nose.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Journal
The Hitchhiker: "Code Liz"
The Hitchhiker is easily one of the greatest television shows of all time—a truly groundbreaking series of short, sharp shocks, stylish supernatural thrillers wherein we see cosmic justice meted out to the evildoer, much in the same manner as the old EC comic books of the Fifties. The show mirrors the O. Henry twists of those comics, not to mention the less subtle reversals found in the original episodes of The Twilight Zone.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Horror
To You, Lover and Lord
There are harpies from hell that with you take flight, They soar above rooftops on wings of the night. There is nothing to see in a world that killed light —
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Poets
Hostess Cupcake Motherf*ckers
When I was in college—lo, nearly twenty-seven, twenty-eight years ago maybe—I shared a dorm room with a big Black dude with dreadlocks who smoked a lot of grass. Dude was cool to me though, man. We used to have a good laugh at our lily-white, bourgeois fellow students and their often sanctimonious and totally naive worldview, which usually amounted to wearing their sanctimonious, woke—or whatever you call it these days—hearts on their designer sleeves.
By Tom Baker10 months ago in Journal

Tom Baker

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Jekyll and Hyde...Together Again

The Raging Sea

When the Clock Began to Bleed

Superman: A Celebration of 75 Years

"...And the Dead Come Through." . Top Story - June 2025.

"Beemis Red Blot Blood-Eyed Bastard Bawling"

The Five Gates

Voyage of the Doom Goblin

Bushwhacker!

The Hitchhiker: "Code Liz"

To You, Lover and Lord

Hostess Cupcake Motherf*ckers

Stories (882)