What Comes Back

I held it in my hands

Tightly squeezing my grip so it would not get out

I could feel it struggle as the light that fed it disappeared

My heart grew strong, as did my courage

I knew it was for the best, I had lived with it for too long

As long as I could remember, really. Forever!

It was part of me, but no longer

*

I looked at my hands

Palms together, strongly pushing against each other

I sensed that it had shriveled to specks by now

No longer a threat, no longer attached to me

I felt relief, the pressure seemed to have gone

I cupped one hand on to the other and poured the imaginary ashen dust into my right palm

I closed my eyes and threw the hardest pitch towards the susurrating sea;

anything left would soon dissolve in the salty waters of the Pacific

*

I fell back into the soft sand

I did snow angels as I stared at the moon

I cherished the rebirth

"A new life," I thought

I can finally be me - free

Free from what has possessed me

I closed my eyes; the cold ocean water touched my toes

*

I jumped back up

full of spirit

I knew there was no going back

A cloud covered the bright white moon

A cold breeze hit my skin

I started to shiver, the hairs on my skin rose in excitement

My fear was back, it didn't take long to come home.