I stood before your grave,
fresh earth still raw where they laid you down,
years of anger heavy in my chest,
memories sharp as broken glass!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
You were gone now, finally gone,
no more chances to make things right,
no more apologies you never offered,
no more explanations that would never come!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
I thought I would feel relief,
thought your death would set me free,
thought the burden would lift itself,
yet here it remained, crushing as ever!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
All those years of pain between us,
all those words that cut so deep,
all those moments when you failed me,
stood there with me at your grave!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
What do we do with unfinished business?
How do we heal what cannot be mended?
How do we release what we have held so long,
when the other person can no longer hear?
──⊱❉⊰ ──
I stood there wrestling with ghosts,
with rage and grief tangled together,
with love and hate existing side by side,
with the terrible truth that you were human and flawed!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
Then something shifted within me,
some burden I chose to put down,
some chain I decided to break,
some gift I gave myself, regardless of whether you deserved it!
──⊱❉⊰ ──
As I turned to walk away,
leaving you there beneath that dirt,
three words rose up unbidden,
fell from my lips like prayer,
──⊱❉⊰ ──
"I forgive you."
About the Creator
Tim Carmichael
I am an Appalachian poet and cookbook author. I write about rural life, family, and the places I grew up around. My poetry and essays have appeared in Beautiful and Brutal Things, My latest book. Check it out on Amazon
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Comments (7)
Stunning work Tim! That last line spoke volumes and was something that I needed to hear! So excellent! 💪🏾
Tim, this moved me to my core. As a mineralogy engineer, I often think about the pressure it takes to create a diamond, but also the pressure that can crush a soul. Your lines about the 'fresh earth' and the 'chain I decided to break' are a perfect metaphor for what I call the Sedimentation of Peace. Forgiveness isn't about the one who is gone; it's about the chemistry of our own hearts. You’ve captured that moment where the 'raw earth' stops being a wound and starts being a foundation. Thank you for this 'technical' manual on how to set oneself free. Magma Star"
A real kicker. Abusers are absolutely incapable of taking responsibility. Trying to extract apologies or understanding is like searching for a fix. It is such a drain on your mental and physical energy to hold out hope of change, for closure. All we can truly hope for is some peace and a little grace at the end of the line. 👏👏👏🖤
Oh Lord Tim. I so get this. Right now I am feeling a lot of this emotion...the world is filled with people who can't realize, or don't care about other people's feelings. Like Sara below, lots of family i don't speak to anymore. But you know what, we do what we have to to make our living lives bearable. Poem so touches us all. Hugs and love to the place within you that this comes from. Even if made up.
Resonated strongly with this! Beautiful if difficult poem.
I felt this in my soul. I have a lot of family that I just don't talk to anymore for the most part... Sometimes I wonder what I will feel when they go. It's so hard because how do you grieve something you never had? But at the same time, I feel like it will still hit me hard. Sending lots of love your way 💝
This hit me hard today. Grief is such an asshole.