To Bob: A Testament of Affection

Hi...

My name is Brad.

I'mma cloze friend of the groom... although, surprize surprize! big guy!

<aside> He didn't know I waz cumming today.

I've known Bob going on... I don't know, at leas four monthz now... long time... and I wanted to be here on dis auspichiouz occaszion to add my bezz wizhz to all the other shit-ton he'll reczeive t'day.

I will not say how Brad and I met... but I do want everybodyz to appreciate what a bold step thiz iz for 'im... literally taking on the responzibilitiezzz... of building a legazy that will make hiz d'ather proud! That takes a lot of gutz! And I, for one, abmire hiz determi'nashion to change.

Brad izza sexy, passionate man. And I want the bride to know juzz how lucky she iz to be marrying him.

Trust me.

L’CHAIM!!!

~↯

____________________Bolt ⚡

PS- The names have been changed to protect the humiliated.